Don't miss a story sign up to Midweek Herald's FREE daily newsletter CLICK HERE

UPDATE: ‘Earthlings, we mean you no harm’

12:21 07 January 2013

'I mean Earthlings no harm' - alien.


Aliens from Mars cease trade with Earth after ‘privacy infringed’. Angry aliens say they only visited Axminster to buy carpet and that they would have given evidence to the Leveson Inquiry.

Claims that alien craft are amassing over Millwey Rise, Axminster, have prompted two ‘aliens’ to get in touch.

Following our front page report last week, in which Ray Johnson said he had photographic evidence of UFOs hovering over the estate, N Zorduzt E T told us in an email: “We mean you no harm and I can assure you that there are no plans to invade your planet.

“As all your readers will be aware, Axminster is home to one of the finest tool shops in this quadrant of the galaxy and it should come as no surprise to you to find life forms visiting it from great distances.

“Admittedly, we have probably travelled the furthest to date.

“We have been visiting for a while now and some of us have even found gainful employment in the shop itself.”

The address and home planet of the author was supplied.

The Herald has now received a written communication from Domino Rygal XXII, allegedly of Mars but with a second home in St John’s Close, Colyton, to complain that his species’ privacy has been infringed.

Domino wrote: “As a long-time resident of Milky Way, I regularly visit Axminster for its carpets which, for decades, have furnished our spacecraft and Imperial Planet Homeworld.

“Following your publication of our visits, we have decided to cease trade with your planet.

“We value our privacy and our only regret is that we were unable to provide this sorry episode as evidence in your Lord Leveson Inquiry.”

Related articles


Other News Stories

Upottery primary school children parents and teachers will take part in their own Race for Life event this week. Ref mhh 7169-48-15SH. Picture: Simon Horn

Parents are also being invited to participate in a Race for Life run taking place tomorrow (Thursday).

Read more
Yesterday, 15:30

The incident happened at 3.27am on Monday, November 23, outside Honiton Family Church.

Read more
Yesterday, 11:46
Providing accommodation for gypsies and travellers is a legal requirement that East Devon District Council must meet through its Local Plan

IN A significant development in the proposals to locate a large gypsy and traveller site in Cranbrook, East Devon MP Hugo Swire has urged East Devon District Council to rethink its plans.

Read more
Yesterday, 11:30
Dignataries gathered for anniversary celebrations at the Honiton Evangelist Church on Sunday. Ref mhh 6818-47-15SH. Picture: Simon Horn

Mayor Caroline Kolek, mace bearer Dave Retter and other dignitaries attended a special service, before enjoying a lunch.

Read more
Mon, 11:45
Woodroffe students at the sculpture park

The students were able to broaden their contextual awareness and understanding as they were prompted about their own thoughts on the selected exhibits.

Read more
Sunday, November 22, 2015
George Blake of AG Signs with last year's winners, nine year olds Simon Lazell and Isabel Cottrell. Ref mhh 0401-52-14TI. Picture: Terry Ife

A competition has been launched by Honiton company AG Signs to find 24 faces to be part of a festive garage display in Dowell Street.

Read more
Sunday, November 22, 2015
Honiton High Street's Shoezone / Stead and Simpson store. Ref mhh 6814-47-15SH. Picture: Simon Horn

Shoe Zone bosses confirmed the store will close at Christmas. A spokesman for the national retailer says the closure is due to the lease of the building expiring,

Read more
Saturday, November 21, 2015
The Premier Inn at Turk's Head in Honiton. Ref mhh 6832-47-15SH. Picture: Simon Horn

The 66-bedroom hotel is currently being built on Turks Head Lane.

Read more
Friday, November 20, 2015
Geoff Gilbert with be cycling from Dieppe to Paris as part of a group raising people's awareness of climate change. Ref mhh 6792-47-15SH. Picture: Simon Horn

The 150-mile cycle ride from Dieppe, in northern France, to Paris is organised by relief and development charity Tearfund and Climate Stewards, a Christian environment charity.

Read more
Friday, November 20, 2015
Pictured at the cheque presentation (l to r) Libby Dibble, Christine Galvin, Tracey Voysey, and David Baker. Photo by Bill Coltham

Cry rings out for ‘any old iron?’ at All Saints

Read more

Local Weather

Partly Cloudy

Partly Cloudy

max temp: 10°C

min temp: 9°C

Most Read News

Great British Life

Great British Life

Useful Links

Family notices
Advertise in the paper
Submit a Story
Submit a Story
Buy Photos
Google Plus Page
Reader Travel

Family Notices 24

Read Online

Read the Midweek Herald e-edition E-edition

Local business directory

Honiton's trusted business finder

Find a job in Devon

Find planning applications