UPDATE: ‘Earthlings, we mean you no harm’

12:21 07 January 2013

'I mean Earthlings no harm' - alien.

'I mean Earthlings no harm' - alien.

Archant

Aliens from Mars cease trade with Earth after ‘privacy infringed’. Angry aliens say they only visited Axminster to buy carpet and that they would have given evidence to the Leveson Inquiry.

Claims that alien craft are amassing over Millwey Rise, Axminster, have prompted two ‘aliens’ to get in touch.

Following our front page report last week, in which Ray Johnson said he had photographic evidence of UFOs hovering over the estate, N Zorduzt E T told us in an email: “We mean you no harm and I can assure you that there are no plans to invade your planet.

“As all your readers will be aware, Axminster is home to one of the finest tool shops in this quadrant of the galaxy and it should come as no surprise to you to find life forms visiting it from great distances.

“Admittedly, we have probably travelled the furthest to date.

“We have been visiting for a while now and some of us have even found gainful employment in the shop itself.”

The address and home planet of the author was supplied.

The Herald has now received a written communication from Domino Rygal XXII, allegedly of Mars but with a second home in St John’s Close, Colyton, to complain that his species’ privacy has been infringed.

Domino wrote: “As a long-time resident of Milky Way, I regularly visit Axminster for its carpets which, for decades, have furnished our spacecraft and Imperial Planet Homeworld.

“Following your publication of our visits, we have decided to cease trade with your planet.

“We value our privacy and our only regret is that we were unable to provide this sorry episode as evidence in your Lord Leveson Inquiry.”

Related articles

0 comments

Other News Stories

10:10

This year’s theme is Time, Tides and Tectonics,

Read more
14:42

East Devon District Council (EDDC) has agreed to increase its share of council tax.

Read more
Yesterday, 11:36

FatFace team donates £600 to local RNLI volunteers

Read more
Yesterday, 11:27

A dinner held in memory of one of Branscombe’s ‘big characters’ has raised £520 for the British Heart Foundation.

Read more
Yesterday, 10:01

Honiton’s Royal British Legion (RBL) faces closure after more than nine decades of service if volunteers do not come forward to carry on its work.

Read more
Tue, 18:00

With NASA set to present new findings on exoplants, we’re asking the people of Devon if they believe there is life out there. Take part in our poll here.

Read more
Tue, 17:40

Restoration crews have discovered an ancient peacock drawing on timbers at The Royal Clarence Hotel in Exeter

Read more
Tue, 16:54

The daughter of ‘Puffing Billy’ driver Percy Bird dies in an Axminster nursing home

Read more
Tue, 15:54

Valentine-themed cakes fetch £167 for British Heart Foundation

Read more
Tue, 14:25

Presenter says he is a big fan of the West Dorset resort

Read more

Local Weather

Partly Cloudy

Partly Cloudy

max temp: 9°C

min temp: 2°C

Most Read News

Useful Links

Family notices
Advertise in the paper
Submit a Story
Submit a Story
Buy Photos
Competitions
iwitness24
Facebook
Twitter
Google Plus Page
Reader Travel

Family Notices 24

Read Online

Image
Read the Midweek Herald e-edition E-edition

Newsletter Sign Up

Sign up to receive our regular email newsletter

Local business directory

Honiton's trusted business finder

HOT JOBS

Show Job Lists


Find planning applications