The final Saturday of March was to have been the Axe Cliff Captain’s Drive-In when all three of our new captains of the men’s, ladies’ and Senior sections drive off the first tee and we can all put little wooden stickers in the ground marking where we think their respective balls will land for prizes, writes Dave Bruce.

Rob Grove, our Senior section captain and his partner Barbara Cummings, our lady captain, have kept everyone in touch with a round-robin email system.

Many pictures were sent to them of balls supposedly hit into their garden with their initials on.

I think that the vice-captain John Hanna, would have won the prize with Barbara’s ball one foot in front of Rob’s.

It is a wonderful way of continuing with clubhouse banter so much enjoyed at our club after each weekly competition.

Rob, an excellent Quiz master, has given us some 30 new nicknames to try and work out who is who and is offering a bottle of wine to anyone who gets them all correct.

I’ve just worked out who ‘Fish’ refers to, but continue to have trouble with another 20!

Sharon, my wife, liked his comment, one day, when he said it was his turn to cook the evening meal. Mind you I reminded her that Barbara was getting fed up with toad-in-hole which, I am reliably informed, is his only dish!

It looks like we are going to let Tony Strong, Brian Thompson and Dave Weston retain the famous Yellow Ball Trophy this year after the 2020 competition was postponed indefinitely last Friday.

That will mean they have held it for three years on the trot which must be a record so Brian has kindly sent me a picture of it because that’s the closest that we are going to get to see it for a while!

The Yellow Ball Trophy is competed for in teams of three with best two stableford scores to count.

A yellow ball is used in turn by one member and its score counts double unless it is lost.

We have to feel sorry for poor, 84-years-young, Geoff Hughes, who, at long last has had a new set of teeth fitted last week, but I now understand he has difficulty using them as the one tooth, that was left in his mouth for support, has developed an abscess. His tongue also has, according to him, flattened because he used to lick around his gums for the two months since he lost his last set!

I did deliver some food to him yesterday as he is self-isolating – it consisted of three banana’s, four pints of green top milk, a packet of pancakes, six eggs and the Sun newspaper – his response on receipt was: “Can we go for a game of golf.” Bless him!

I’ll leave you with my favourite quote of the week from Nick Jones: “I went for an IQ Test last week and it came back negative’. Thanks for reading this everyone stay safe in these difficult times.